Fear, Worry, Anxiety and what I do about it

I struggle with anxiety.  A lot.  More than I care to admit.  Today, like most days, my mind begins to fill with a thousand thoughts.  My to-do list seems to write itself and before I know it, the list has morphed into one for work, one for home and one for me.  Now I have more to do than any one human could complete in a week’s time, much less TODAY.  The overflow of my mind somehow drops into my chest.  My breath begins to shorten and my chest tightens.  Things to do, phone calls to make, conversations to have,  and don’t forget the dry-cleaning or the milk.  Before I know it, I’m hedging toward panic attack,  like some kind of run away train.  I must slow down.

These days, I think I have much more to worry about.  I just sold my business of 20 years and I’m trying my hand at a new thing, author/blogger/speaker.  All the while,  the fear keeps creeping in.  As if I’m not good enough.  Like I’m a crazy lady for even thinking I could ditch one thing and start a new thing.   From experience, I know that if I spend much time here, the fear and worry will quickly turn into anxiety.  I might not even realize that I’m thinking but the uneasiness and anxiousness that come with fear and worry lie just below the surface, looking for a crack to seep through.  And here it comes.  Rushing in.  I have to ask myself, what causes my anxiousness?  When I slow myself down long enough to realize, typically it is not spending time with God.  You might say, “really?” and I will reply, “yeah”.  I have this tendency to run out in front of God, time and time again.  And where does it land me.  Right here in this place of fear, worry and anxiety.

So here’s what I do;

• pay attention to how I feel.  Awareness is key.  Notice my thoughts, my feelings.  Do I feel nervous?
• ask the questions.  How do I feel in this moment?  Why might I be feeling this way?  (I must be stern and honest.  I like to lie to myself.)
• then, breathe.  This one is a biggie.  Even if I can’t answer the questions, as soon as I begin to notice those anxious thoughts, I begin breathing into them.
• go to the scriptures.  Fear is mentioned 500 times in the Bible.  Why?  Because we are afraid. A lot.   Isaiah 41:10 says, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.  Do not be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my righteous right hand.”
• pray. I ask God to help me.  I confess my fears if I know what they are.  And if I do not know, then I ask God to reveal them to me.  Then I trust God at God’s word, as best I can.
• meditation/silence.  I often end my time in silence or breathing into quiet meditation music.  And I listen for what God is speaking to my heart.  Usually, it is “do not be afraid.”  Or, “trust me”.  Lately it is, “this is the way, walk in it.”

I find much comfort in the fact that God cares for me.  I believe that if we slow down and listen, we can hear God.  When we hear God, God will instruct us.  There is no better place to be, then in the will of God.  God says I am enough  and you are too.  I am learning to trust God and to not fear.  And there is freedom in this place.  In the coming weeks, I’ll dive more into spiritual disciplines of prayer and fasting and how to physically, mentality and spiritually step  over my fear and hopefully yours too.  Don’t forget to subscribe and share with your friends.

#livelove

-M